Posts (page 2)

...was so completely retarded.  Just thought you'd like to know that.

There are some shows I watch a lot of.  Not because I necessarily love the shows but because sometimes there's nothing better on.  take Family Guy for example.  I'm not a huge fan of Family Guy.  I think it's kind of dull and predictable and the whole thing where they go "Oh that's about as nutty as the time..." and then they cut away to Hitler juggling fish or something... yeah, that gets old and I rarely laugh at it.  But sometimes it's on and I'm sad to report that I've seen pretty much every episode of Family Guy like 15 times.

I just realized watching Scrubs that if I had multiple personality disorder, I would be most of the cast of Scrubs.  I'm silly and nerdy like J.D., fake macho like Turk, an asshole like Dr. Cox, goofy and insecure like Elliot Reid, weird like the janitor and too often giggle at innuendo like "The Todd".  Watching Scrubs is almost therapeutic because I see so much of myself in all the characters.  I guess that's what makes it one of my favorite shows.

This is a cool idea.  A Rock Band themed cake. ROOCCKKK!!!

Too much can be said, when less is more.

Ok, so I've said a lot here about lies and justification, so now let me talk about recovery.  When you analyze the nature of lying as it relates to your own lifestyle, this leads you towards recovery.  They say the first step to recovery is admission of the problem.  This is often not as easy as it sounds.  There have been a lot of lies and you know that full disclosure of those lies would end up hurting people even more.  Although it would be more desirable to confront those you have hurt, be open and honest with them about what has occurred and apologize for your carelessness, it's not at all an easy thing to do.  Often the lies have been so structured and complex that you can be afraid of what they'll say or do in rebuttal, or - even worse - what they'll say or think about you as a person.  And ultimately you worry about how much more it will hurt them if the lies were revealed as what they really were.

So the last topic I covered was the nature of my lies.  So when you finally reach a place where you decide that in order to have real things in life, you have to BE real, it's a hard process to break the cycle.  You decide that lying in all forms is self-defeating, you can't just resolve to stop lying to others, you also have to pick out the thorns in your side that are causing you to lie to yourself.  I lost a lot of really great things in my life early on and I have to sit back and question just how my life would have turned out differently if I had decided early on to be better than my nature and if I'd truly been able to understand that lies were self-defeating.  This leads back to the "they'd do it to me" or the "they deserve it for reason X" or "No one's being hurt by this" or living under the false assumption that lying to someone was giving them what they wanted.

When I was younger I used to lie.  It was a matter of nature.  I was a liar.  I'd lie about who I was, what was going on in my life, what I had, what I'd done, who I knew.  I'd lie about problems to get attention, I'd lie about events in my life to get sympathy, I'd lie about what I was going to do to appease those who asked me for things.  I was a liar in my nature and in my heart and since it always appeared to move me in a place that improved my existence, it seemed that lies were a good thing.  No one really knew that I was lying most the time, so what did it really hurt?  If I wanted attention, I could lie to get that attention and then the need was covered.  This seemed like a good thing, as it was a simple case of supply and demand.  I wanted something, I lied to someone and I got it.

I'm just sitting here listening to a TON of news about the passing of Michael Jackson.  It's absolutely unreal to think that Michael Jackson has died.  It's hard to process.  I'm not going to say that I'm overcome with grief, but it really is a shame.  It's be an extremely rough last decade for Michael Jackson, and maybe it was largely of his own making, but it's still a shame when someone as talented as Michael Jackson passes away.  The saddest part was watching the steady decline of his health and his character over the years.  He really was the King of Pop and at one point was on top of the world.  He was more popular than Elvis and the Beatles.  He really was one of a kind, and it's sad that he died, but also a shame that his image was tarnished over time to the point where he was mostly in hiding.

Michael-jackson

I am happy to see that the two biggest tags on my page (as seen in the left column) are "God" and "love".  Then of course they would be, because those are the two biggest topics on my mind at the moment.